Akumu
by hannahtranter16
Summary: Lulled into a false sense of security after the Mushroom Man is defeated, everyone assumes everything is fine. Yet Leo still seems to be troubled by vivid nightmares and when those nightmares turn into hallucinations, his brothers and father are there to help pick up the pieces.


**Wow it has been an awful long time since I managed to post a story here and for that I apologise, but final year at university has been taking its toll on me with all the essays to read for, prepare and write!**

 **Anyway, this was a request from AmaranthShade who has been ever so patient to wait this long and I really hope she, and everyone else, enjoys it! :D**

 **Prompt (shortened down slightly ;) ) - Set after the mushroom incident, Leo still has some toxins stuck in his throat and lungs which is causing the effects to continue. Though I quote - '[Leo]** **gets confused and full of anxiety and insecurity. Lot of hurt/comfort and brotherly fluff :)' Because that is pretty must the gist of the story summed up ;)**

 **I struggled with this a little because I like to keep my stories under a certain rating if I can help it so its suitable for everyone who follows the franchise. But this is, in my eyes at least, a little darker than my other stories and so warrants a bit of a rating change due to the nightmare and hallucinations. But I hope you guys enjoy it nonetheless :) I'm going to stick with T for the moment, but if you think I can lower it to K+ then let me know and I will :)**

 **Note on the title - Akumu is Japanese for 'Nightmare' which I thought was appropriate for this one :) At least it's Japanese according to Google Translate, so if it isn't and someone knows, let me know and I'll change it!**

* * *

Having been annoyed and slightly nauseated at the prospect of eating a pizza with mushrooms after the day they had, the teens, apart from Mikey, decided to leave the pizza-loving turtle to his own devices. April and Casey headed home, the raven haired teen declaring they would stop off for dinner on the way home, much to the chagrin of a certain purple cladded turtle. Raph, actually rather hungry albeit not for a mushroom pizza, dragged his love-struck younger brother to the kitchen to help him make their own mushroom-free dinner. While Leo, not really hungry at all, joined Splinter in the dojo for some meditation.

However, the blue cladded turtle still found himself struggling to focus. For the second time that day he was groaning in angry frustration, though this time managed to remain upright when questioned by his Sensei. Leo wasn't quite sure what to tell Splinter, after all he had no idea why he still couldn't relax his mind and convene with the spiritual plane. His periodical coughing didn't help matters either.

"Perhaps some tea will help," Splinter suggested, offering a hand to his son who took it gratefully. Leo watched as his sensei went into his room to fetch the teapot, mugs and tealeaves that he kept in there, before following and bringing in the table that they often had it on. The blue cladded turtle insisted on filling the teapot with water, leaving Splinter to set up the table.

Leo walked the relatively short distance to the kitchen, briefly pausing to hear the youngest scoffing the pizza he had brought earlier and shaking his head in disbelief. Filling the teapot with water, the blue banded brother set it on the stove to warm and reclined against the counter next to it, watching his two immediate youngers bicker about what to have for dinner.

"We can barely cook a simple breakfast Raph, what makes you think experimenting with everything in the fridge is a good idea?" Donnie asked exasperated.

"Anythings gotta be better than that mushroom pizza," Raph retaliated.

Leo continued to watch amused. They had barely registered that he had come into the room, never mind that he was standing directly in front of them. He coughed again, though only partly to grasp their attention "What about some Ramen?" He suggested.

The two spun around at the new voice intruding on their argument. Raph's first instinct was to yell at whoever it was for interrupting, but he stopped at a simple infuriated "What?!" before deflating.

"Sounds like a good idea," Donnie agreed and he set about getting some noodle packets from the cupboards, nonchalantly ordering his immediate older brother to fill up a pot with water and set it on the stove. The red banded brother did so, albeit with continued mumblings which both occupants found entertaining.

By this time the teapot had started whistling and Leo used the handle to take it off without burning himself. He took off the lid and breathed in the delightful smell of the tealeaves for a moment before bidding his brothers goodbye and returning to their father in the dojo.

Leo couldn't help but smile at what greeted him. In what appeared to be an effort to cheer his son up, Splinter had not only finished setting up by putting out the cushions to lean on and the mugs on the table, but had even garnished the table with with a few blossom flowers from the tree in his room. The blossom tree was a birthday present off of himself about a year ago, something April had helped him to get.

Carefully, the blue banded turtle kneeled down on the soft cushion and placed the teapot down, bowing in respect as they always did when having tea. Splinter returned the gesture and watched as his son poured the tea, first for his father and then himself. They sipped the green tea in a comfortable silence, the only sounds being the occasional rumble as Leo tried to manage his still dry throat, until Splinter spoke up.

"Are you still troubled by your fears my son?"

Leo swirled the tea in his mug thoughtfully, "No Sensei, I think after today I've learnt to manage them properly,"

Splinter allowed a smile to tug at his lips, "Good, it is something we all must learn to do, if only to use them to help us instead of weigh us down," Leo nodded, pouring himself another cup of tea and downing it quickly in an attempt to quench his parched throat.

The rat raised a brow at this action, but could not comment on it further as his youngest peaked his head around the door and shouted that dinner was ready. After a gentle reminder that they were of perfect hearing, the orange banded brother chuckling sheepishly as he scampered off, Splinter followed his eldest into the kitchen.

Donnie had already filled five bowls of takayama ramen and placed them on the table, with Raph putting out the chopsticks and glasses of water. It was a tradition that they all eat at the table together, one that regretfully had not been honoured for some time. Mikey chatted away happily about random topics, everyone chirping in when appropriate. Raph was befuddled about how the youngest could eat an entire pizza to himself and still have room for two helpings of ramen, Donnie commenting that he had a stomach size of something supernatural.

"You okay Leo?" The purple banded brother asked, noticing that the eldest had barely touched his food, favouring to move it round with his chopsticks instead.

"Hmm?" He wasn't really paying attention, but looked up at his name, "Yeah sorry, I'm just not that hungry,"

"You sure bro, D made some awesome ramen,"

"Yeah," He pushed his bowl into Mikey's waiting hands and had to turn away, slightly nauseated, when he started slurping it down. He stayed for the conversations and helped to wash up afterwards, but since they had ate rather late, it wasn't long before everyone turned in.

After the week he'd had, not including battling the fear inducing mushroom mutants, Leo was looking forward to a good night's sleep. Stripping of his gear and settling under the covers, Leo snuggled down and tried to relax his mind. It took a while, but eventually he drifted off to sleep.

It wasn't long however, before his body was tossing back and forth as he was trapped once more in the throes of another nightmare. It was worse than usual. Being confined in a tight black space had never been so terrifying, for he wasn't alone. Normally that might bring some comfort. Perhaps he might have still been nervous, but company always made things more bearable. Not, however, when you were surrounded by your dying brothers' bodies.

He couldn't help but stare at them, dumbfounded. How could this have happened? What could have caused such grievous injuries? And who would harm such innocent children?

Leo gazed around, taking in each individual injury inflicted, and in each brother he saw something lost. Mikey, his sweet baby brother, covered in wounds. Baby blue eyes frozen open in terror with not a drop of sunshine left. Donnie, his astute ingenious brother, burnt ever so badly. His inventions never failed impress the elder, if only because the younger was so persistent. Now he never would see the fervent look in those big brown eyes when a new idea struck. Raph, his hot-headed caring brother, had taken that much being the protector he was that it looked as though he had been mauled. His features twisted in pain and for once Leo wished it were anger he saw in those cold green eyes instead.

Dropping to his knees, Leo was too shocked to say or do anything. He just kept staring, couldn't comprehend that this was happening. The blue banded brother closed his eyes tightly, trying to stop the tears that had formed in his eyes. There would be time for grieving later, right now he had to get his brother's bodies somewhere safe where they could rest in peace. Still he prayed that this wasn't happening, chanting it in his head as a mantra. When he looked again they were gone.

He gasped in shock and stood, frantically searching for his brothers. Everywhere was dark and he wasn't able to see or hear anything. After constantly turning for what seemed like forever he felt something, a shove that caused him to land on his shell.

Looking up he saw his brothers and he wasn't sure what scared him more. They were completely healed, which should have been a good thing if he hadn't seen them dying moments ago, but what really made his skin crawl was their eyes. Nothing but cold black pools.

He shrunk back under their gazes as they advanced on him. His shell hit something, but he didn't care to find out what. All the elder could focus on was this demonic version of his brothers. He began hyperventilating as they got closer. This was wrong. He shouldn't be frightened. They were his brothers.

"It's your fault Leo!" Raphael spat icily, his black eyes fixed onto Leo's sapphire ones. His breathing, if possible, got worse.

"You did this!" Donatello shouted, pointing an accusing finger and poking it in Leo's plastron. He felt his heart stop and ice build around the cavity at the touch.

"You let us down bro!" Michelangelo yelled, a mixture of anger and disappointment as he advanced on the elder. Not surprisingly it was this comment that stung the blue banded turtle the most.

He forced his eyes shut, trying to block out the hurtful comments, but it did little to help when he was grabbed and hauled up. He didn't want to look, but instinct took over and he was once again face to face with his black-eyed brothers. They kept talking, but the words were all a blur. He heard 'weak' and 'failure' as almost every other word and as much as he wanted to block out the hurtful comments, he couldn't. They filled his ears and echoed around him. His breathing was out of control by now. His throat felt like it was constricting so tightly that he couldn't breathe at all, and everything started to go black.

Leo bolted upright in his bed, coughing badly and drenched in sweat. He covered his mouth to muffle the sounds so as not to wake his family. When the coughing finally subsided some, the blue banded turtle was still left panting to catch his breathe back. He sighed tiredly now he knew he was back in his bedroom and not in some pitch black box with three demonised brothers.

He looked around to get his bearings. The first thing he noticed was his door was open ajar like it usually was, letting in a bit of light from the hallway to illuminate the otherwise dark room. He also saw that his bed covers were partly a crinkled heap at the end of the bed, but with enough covering him to feel trapped. He threw it off to the side and felt relief at the cold air that greeted his warm body. The mattress was slightly damp too, most likely from sweat as he felt clammy and wiped away some of the liquid from his forehead. Shame he couldn't wipe away the headache that had formed.

Checking the clock on his bedside table, Leo saw it was 3:30am, only an hour and a half until he normally got up at 5am for early morning meditation before training. The first thing he wanted to do however was have a quick shower. Not only to get rid of the clamminess of his skin, but he was starting to feel really cold. Taking a deep breathe, Leo got up, replacing the blanket on his bed when he did so, and silently headed to the bathroom.

He remembered how noisy the pipes had been lately, and decided against having a full on shower. He'd only have another one after training. Instead he ran the sink taps and used a flannel and lukewarm water to wash himself quickly. He was glad that April had just given them fresh fluffy towels the other day after finding out their old ones were so worn they'd had holes in them.

After a wash, Leo went back to his room to meditate. Coughing periodically, Leo went under his bed for his box of incense and pulled out his favourite scent and some candles, hoping it would calm him down enough to actually be able to meditate this time. He lit the incense and placed it on his bedside table, settling down on the floor in the Lotus position. Taking deep breaths, the coughing only interrupting him every now and then, Leo attempted his favourite past time. Yet every time he went to empty his mind, flashes of cold black eyes permeated the space and he could of swore he heard their insults fill his ears.

Less than half an hour passed before he finally gave up. He blew out the candles, but left the incense to run its course. It wouldn't burn anything and he always welcomed pleasant scents in their sewer home. Checking the clock once more, there was still much time before training would commence.

Wandering into the pit, Leo pondered on what to do until training. He clearly wouldn't be doing any meditation. Maybe another cup of tea would kill some time? It certainly didn't kill much. Although a bit worried about noise of the kettle boiling, Leo knew that it never took long to make. He was back in the pit within five minutes. He sighed, at a loss for what to do. He could not concentrate on reading right now and he was having one of his rare too tired moments to start training. Plopping down on the sofa, he saw the TV remote and after a moment's consideration turned it on, making sure to set the volume low.

There wasn't much on, but after some channel surfing the blue banded turtle settled on some documentary on jungle animals. Shivering slightly, Leo grabbed a nearby blanket and wrapped it round himself. That was how Raph found him about an hour later.

The red banded turtle was just leaving his room, yawning and stretching his arms over his head when he heard a noise in the pit. Curious about who would be watching TV this early in the morning, Raph wandered over, half expecting to find Mikey sprawled over the sofa having fallen asleep with the TV on. Usually though Leo or Sensei would have found him in the night and took him to bed. Seeing Leo on the sofa was the last person he expected to be there at this time in the morning.

"What are you doing?" He asked, walking up behind his brother to stare disbelievingly at the TV.

"Watching a film," Leo replied, the documentary having ended after half an hour. He'd switched to some kind of sci-fi film that was on another channel a little while ago, but was only half watching it.

Raph continued to stare, raising a brow at the elder, "Why?"

"It was the only thing on,"

Raph wasn't sure what threw him more, the fact that Leo was still watching the TV or that he had said that with a completely straight face, "Why?" He repeated.

Leo finally turned around to face the younger, making sure to keep a tight grip on the blanket that was keeping him warm, "I couldn't meditate," He was scowling slightly, obviously annoyed by this fact.

"Still?" The younger questioned, leaping over the sofa to sit next to his brother. Leo merely nodded, tightened the blanket around him and faced the TV again. Raph frowned, he hated seeing the elder ashamed like this, especially when he didn't need to be.

"Everyone's better than you," Sapphire eyes widened and he turned to the younger who was pretending to watch the TV.

"What?"

"I said there ain't no-one better than you, you know at meditation," Raph replied, frowning once more at how his brother looked more hurt than comforted. He wasn't the best at this, but he certainly wasn't that bad.

"Oh," Leo turned away, leaving Raph throughly confused. Before he could question it however, Mikey dove on top of him from behind.

"Hey bro!" The youngest greeted enthusiastically. Raph responded by throwing him to the floor.

"Morning Chucklehead," The younger merely flipped up and back over the sofa, greeting their purple banded brother who had also just entered the pit.

Raph wanted to tell Mike and Don about their eldest brother's strange behaviour, but Splinter took that moment to call them for training. He would talk to them about it later. When he looked back at Leo, the blue banded turtle had turned the TV off and was almost to the dojo, Mikey not too far behind. Donnie was heading over too, but at a much slower pace. Clearly the coffee had not kicked in yet. Making a mental note to have a word with their resident genius later, Raph too headed to the dojo to start their morning training session.

They started training in the usual way. First up was the warm ups and some individual exercises to get the muscles ready for sparing or the more complex katas and routines that they would go through. When they were younger they did warm ups together, but now each brother had his own style and tended to warm up in their own way.

Mikey loved to dance and goof around. He did a few stretches first off, he learnt the hard way that he needed to always start with stretching, but they were minimal and he did the rest of the warm up as a little dance routine.

Donnie did the same warm up every time and was quite happy with it. He'd spent weeks coming up with the perfect warm up where every muscle was used at some point, so he felt ready to face the rest of training. Also after long hours sat at his desk it helped work out all his kinks from the night before.

Raph made great use of the space to stretch and have a mini boxing match with himself. He limbered himself up by bouncing around on the balls of his feet, punching his fists in front of him, always eager to get to the sparing part of the training.

Leo was more traditional with his warm ups. He started with some stretching to loosen up his body, even taking a few pointers from Donnie to make sure he woke up all his muscles, before moving onto some simple katas. He ran through them, using different forms and speeds, until it was time for group training.

Splinter observed his sons in their individual exercises and warm ups, allowing a small smile to cross his lips at how they had each found their own style. As much as Ninjutsu was about discipline and learning the techniques, developing one's own style was also important. His thoughts were interrupted however, by a particularly loud cough from his eldest. He'd been watching Leonardo struggle with his routine while attempting to stifle coughs.

"Is everything alright Leonardo?"

The eldest spun around to face his Sensei, give a small bow in respect before answering, "Hai Sensei," Though his face grew scarlet when another cough slipped past immediately afterwards.

"Hmm," Splinter stroked his beard, but nodded at his son to continue. He continued to watch his eldest more closer as he went through some more complex katas. His other sons were nearing the end of their warm ups too, but he was more concerned about the increasingly loud hacks emitting from Leonardo.

The blue banded brother took a deep breath to keep his temper and frustration under control. The consistent coughing was driving him up the wall and even though Splinter had him drink some water throughout his routine, it didn't seem to be helping. For now he just wanted to forget it and get through his katas. Getting into his starting pose, Leo worked through one of the advanced katas Splinter had taught him, but when he landed back on the floor after a jump a dizzy spell overtook him.

Splinter edged forward towards his eldest when he stumbled, clutching his head in his hands, "Leonardo?" he questioned, placing a hand on his shoulder to steady him.

Leo couldn't hold back a quiet groan as his vision swam and headache flared up again. He rubbed his temple with one hand and his eye with another, trying to focus on the figure in front of him. Another cough spilled out before an answer did, "I'm okay, just got a bit dizzy,"

Their resident doctor came to his side, helping to support him, even if his patient kept trying to bat him away, "You still feeling dizzy?" He watched at Leo seemed to consider this, which was a blatant yes he was, but didn't want to admit it, before confirming he was.

"Donatello?" Splinter asked, concerned about what would cause something like this. It was unusual for his eldest to be ill.

"He doesn't have a temperature, so I don't think it's a cold or the flu," Donnie started, having placed a hand against the elder's forehead, "Did you eat anything before training?"

"No," Leo replied.

"Hmm, perhaps it's because you haven't eaten enough, I mean you hardly touched your dinner last night,"

"Low blood sugar?" Donnie confirmed his Sensei's declaration, "Then perhaps we should postpone training for you Leonardo,"

Leo looked like he wanted to protest, but a sharp glare from Donnie and Splinter's stern face caused any protest to die in his throat. He nodded feebly, standing but not getting very far before Mikey seized an opportunity.

"Oh I think I'm getting dizzy too," The youngest started stumbling about, dramatically waving his arms to keep 'balance'. He sighed and collapsed in front of their Sensei, frantically gripping the hem of his robe.

"Need food," He whined, putting on his best puppy dog eyed expression.

Splinter rolled his eyes, "Very well, you may all continue training later,"

Mikey hopped up in an instant and was out the door and into the kitchen in seconds. His brothers also rolled their eyes at the display, but soon joined him.

"What do you want bros?"

"Something high in glucose for Leo," Donnie said. Mikey gawped at him, his hand frozen mid-stretch to the cupboard. The genius sighed, he forgot who he was talking to, "Something sugary,"

"Oh, you got it bro,"

"Just cereal is fine Mikey," Leo insisted. He didn't like things too sugary, never had.

"Ooh I know, pancakes," The youngest began rooting through the cupboards and the fridge looking for all the ingredients needed, "Oh man, we're out of butter, we can't have pancakes without butter!"

"I'll text April to get some on her way down," Donnie said, already pulling out his T-Phone to do so. Raph chuckled at this younger brothers, nudging Leo who was also sniggering. Both youngers stuck their tongues out at the elders. All four turned around at the sound of a low chuckling to see their father.

"We gotta wait for April and Casey to get down here Sensei," Mikey stated, swinging his wooden spoon around for emphasis.

"Michelangelo," Splinter started warningly, but was interrupted by another small coughing fit from Leonardo. Raphael patted his shell gently to help soothe him, "Alright, we will postpone for a few hours," Mikey cheered audibly, though Don had the decency to cheer silently and Raph was trying not to laugh out loud at Leo's pouting at the news.

In the meantime, Mikey made them all some drinks. He knew Leo would have some tea and secretly put two spoonfuls of sugar in the cup under Donnie's instructions. He made Don another cup of coffee and himself some hot chocolate. He offered to do Raph a warm drink, but the elder was happy with water.

April texted Donnie back stating she was five minutes away and even Splinter was smiling at the hearts in the purple banded brother's eyes. They disappeared five minutes later when a certain human teenage boy was accompanying the red head.

"Hey guys," April greeted cheerfully, Casey adding a 'Sup' of his own, "I got the butter,"

"Yes!" Mikey exclaimed, "You're the best April," He hugged her and quickly dashed back to the kitchen, briefly popping his head around the door, "You and Casey want some?"

"You bet," Casey replied, jogging into the kitchen after him.

April hung back with the others to wait until they were called for their delicious pancakes. She half listened to Donnie telling her about one of his experiments he was going to work on after training, getting distracted now and then by loud and quiet coughs coming from the blue banded turtle. He was clearly trying to disguise and muffle them, but that sometimes made it worse and even more noticeable.

She questioned why the boys' training had been pushed back and Donnie quietly told her about what had happened. Both he and Splinter wanted Leo to eat something substantial before starting again.

Mikey soon called them all into the kitchen and although a bit of a squeeze it was nice to have everyone sitting together to eat. They enjoyed the fluffy pancakes and melted butter whilst exchanging stories. April particularly found Splinter's story about the turtles as tots intriguing.

Don and April did the washing up and drying while everyone let their breakfast settle down. Splinter sat and talked with his eldest and Raph, Casey and Mikey had a burping contest.

Splinter was more than happy to get everyone back in the dojo to get on with their training. Between the burping contest and Mikey's suggestion to kick back with a Super Robo Mecha Force 5 marathon all day, the rat needed to get his sons back on track. He'd been lenient enough. The human teens joined them in training, Casey especially seemed to be eager to participate.

"Today we will be learning new katas," He announced, only to have Casey fidget and groan quietly. His ears flicked back in annoyance and Raph elbowed the teen in the ribs.

"What did you have in mind Mr Jones?"

Casey shifted awkwardly for a moment, but soon perked up, "Thought we'd spar you know, bit of butt kicking," He smirked at Donnie, eager to get started.

Splinter stroked his beard thoughtfully. He nodded and had to hold back a smirk at the human's genuine surprise, albeit it was hand to hand and not weapon like he might have wanted. He paired everyone up: Casey with Donnie, April with Mikey and Leo with Raph. Though perhaps the first one was a bit of a mistake. No matter, the rivalry was a great motivator, it had worked with his two eldest for years. Speaking of Leonardo, he was still coughing every now and then and it appeared to be getting worse. Making a mental note to keep an eye on him throughout the sparing matches, the rat called for them to start.

"Hajime,"

Leo lunged at Raph, swinging his leg to sweep the other's legs from under him. The younger jumped and threw punches in quick succession, Leo blocking each one with his arms. They circles each other, looking for an opening, and went on throwing jabs and kicks at the other attempting to get the upper hand. It didn't take long for Leo to spot an opening. After a few minutes he successfully knocked Raph to the ground.

The younger went down with a grunt, took one look at the smirk on his elder brother's face and flipped himself up. He retaliated with vigour, determined to wipe the floor with the other's face. Leo blocked every punch he threw, but he too saw an opening. Spinning around, Raph managed to land a kick to the elder's plastron, causing him to fall to the ground.

Time froze when Leo landed on the floor on his shell. He felt the wind knocked out of him by the kick, which while wasn't unusual appeared to spark an unexpected result. His chest and throat tightened and a full blown coughing fit began. He couldn't breathe. He was struggling to get even the smallest of breaths, hacking and wheezing as his body strived to get needed oxygen.

For a minute no one could move, paralysed by the sight of the blue cladded brother on the floor on his knees clutching his throat and chest. It didn't take long for their Sensei to spring into action though. He flung himself to the floor next to his eldest son, shifting the struggling turtle onto his lap.

"Leonardo look at me, you need to get your breathing under control," He continued to try and soothe his son, doing breathing exercises with him and rubbing the younger's plastron where he'd indicated it hurt.

His brothers also snapped out of their daze when Splinter moved. Donnie rushed to their side and attempted to figure out what was wrong. He asked simple yes and no questions which he knew Leo would be able to answer, but he was more concerned that if this didn't stop his brother would lose consciousness. Mikey was torn between going over to comfort his brother and staying out the way so Don could do his thing. When he heard Don mention some water he wad the first out the room to fetch a glass and bring it back in a matter of seconds. They soon found that Leo was wheezing more than coughing and couldn't attempt to drink the water.

At this Raph ran out, returning a minute later with a small blue object in his hands. He handed it to Splinter, who was still trying to sooth the distressed turtle. Their Sensei took one look and quickly flashed a grateful look at Raphael before turning his attention to Leonardo and taking the top off the inhaler for him.

The blue cladded turtle grasped the inhaler and took two puffs, relieved as he once again was able to breathe. He did breathing exercises with his father and soon was back to normal, albeit panting slightly. He took one shuddering breath and slumped against his father's shoulder, trying to relax his shaking body. He felt exhausted and couldn't help but close his eyes to quell the reforming headache.

Splinter had everyone step back to give Leonardo some space. He had wrapped his arms around the trembling turtle's shell and was stroking soothing circles to calm him down. Donnie eventually came up behind Leo, opening his mouth to start asking questions, but a firm shake of Splinter's head caused them to die in this throat and he backed off again.

"What just happened?" Casey asked quietly, directing his attention to Raph who was not only the turtle closest to him, but also apparently knew what to get to solve the problem.

Raph moved to kneel next to Splinter, seemingly not hearing what the human teen asked. He didn't attempt to move the elder at the moment, but he was glad when sapphire eyes flicked over to look at him expressing gratitude. With a smile, Raph rubbed the elder's arm affectionately. He eventually gazed over at Donnie and nodded subtly.

"Leo's asthmatic," The purple banded brother said simply.

"What?" April asked softly, she started towards the blue banded brother, but hesitated.

"Or at least he used to be," Don continued, watching sadly as the eldest let out another shuddering breath, still trying to control the aftershocks.

"He hasn't had an attack since we were six," Raph added, his gaze not leaving his elder brother.

"But why's it come back?" Mikey asked quietly, having edged closer and closer, now kneeling next their father but feeling helpless all the same.

"I'm not sure," Donnie replied, also coming closer, "Maybe if I..."

"No," Splinter interrupted instantly, "Any questions can wait," He stood, shifted his unresisting son so he was cradled in his arms instead, "Right now Leonardo needs to rest,"

They listened as Leo's breathing evened out to the point where he could be mistaken for being asleep, but the quiet groan that escaped him told otherwise. Sapphire eyes fluttered open, the first thing he saw being his father's kind face. He nuzzled the fur on his father's chest, before gazing out to his brothers. They all gave a weak smile, even April and Casey, but he couldn't meet anyone's eyes. He felt too embarrassed.

Splinter shook his head sadly and left the room to take Leonardo to his own. The turtle squirmed a bit, already ashamed enough at having stopped the training session, but there was barely any strength to it. Splinter shushed him softly, rocking him gently as he walked. It was times like this when he was grateful for the extra appendage that was a tail, for he had little trouble opening the door and lifting the blanket to place the now slumbering turtle.

"Rest now my son," He whispered, kissing his child on the forehead. Leonardo always took comfort in this act, even if he didn't express it verbally. Being the father he knew his children's little quirks and what tricks to use on them. For his eldest physical signs of affection were always the best, similar to his youngest. A hand on the shoulder here, a gentle look there, always did the trick. Although kind words could be just as good.

After tucking his eldest in, who had already fallen sound asleep, Splinter stayed for a few minutes to make sure he was alright before leaving him to sleep. His other sons and the human teens crowded him the moment he left Leonardo's room and he reassured them the eldest was fine, informing Donatello that he could perform a check up when he awoke.

They all went about their own activities in the meantime. April and Casey decided it was best they go home, Donnie went into his lab to read up on handling asthma, as it had been a while since they'd dealt with it, Raph plonked himself in front of the TV, but kept the volume low so he could hear if Leo needed something and Mikey dashed into his room, coming back to the pit with some magazines.

All was relatively quiet for about an hour until an ear-piercing scream erupted from the eldest's room. It hadn't taken long for Leo's sleep to once again be swarmed with nightmares and had the others been in the room they would have seen the poor turtle tossing and turning, muttering incessantly, incoherently. That was until the scream, consisting of one word. No.

His brothers ran to him, unsure and concerned about what it was that would cause Leo of all people to shout out. They found him bolt right in his bed, his face pale with a petrified expression.

Leo tried desperately to calm his breathing, shaking his head to get rid of the horrifying image he'd just seen, only to look up and see it once more. His brothers were standing in the doorway, but they were drenched in blood that poured from the wounds marring their bodies. They were calling for him, to help them, protect them, save them, but he couldn't. He was paralysed where he was. Then they spoke.

"It's all your fault," They said, "You did this. You couldn't protect us," They took turns jabbing at what little warmth was in him until he felt an icy cold wrap itself around chest. He couldn't breathe again. It took him a few minutes to realise that he was coughing once more and physically couldn't draw a breath. He thrashed around until he fell off the bed with a loud thud.

By this time the coughing had subsided some and Raph, Mikey and Don rushed to see if Leo was okay. All three frantically called his name, hoping to get a response, aiding the poor turtle with getting the blankets, which had become tangled, off of him. Leo shot up once more, drawing in deep breaths that were only interrupted by small coughs sporadically. When his gaze landed upon his brothers they were not covered with injuries of any sort.

"Leo are you okay?" Donnie asked, only being held back from checking over his older brother by the elder's frightened expression. Leo nodded feebly.

"What happened?" Raph questioned, but the blue banded brother seemed incapable of forming even the basic words, let alone a sentence to explain what he had just seen.

"You need to give us some space," Leo gazed confused at the purple banded brother. What did they need space for?

"You're obviously too weak," Raph spat, the words penetrating and spreading like poison. No, they wouldn't say that, it was just a nightmare. They couldn't be saying it. He started hyperventilating again, shaking his head to get rid of the continuous pour of insults ringing in his ears.

"You're no brother of mine," Hearing his baby brother disown him like that was the last straw. Breaking free of the grip that had appeared on his shoulder, Leo bolted out of his room and into the pit. He bumped into something sturdy and nearly fell over if he hadn't been steadied. Looking up he saw chocolate brown eyes that normally held kindness and warmth stare down at him coldly.

"Leonardo what have you done?"

"Father?" He asked timidly, wondering what on earth he could have done to elicit such a question.

"I am disappointed in you, you could not protect your brothers, look at what you have done!" He flinched at his father's raised voice, but spun around when he heard a crash and felt like he was going to empty what little he had in his stomach.

There his brothers were, but this time they did not speak, for they could not. They lay lifeless on the floor, blood pooling from underneath all three from various weapons that had implanted themselves in their bodies.

"No," He uttered breathlessly, backing away until his shell hit Splinter's front, "No!" He yelled once more, shutting his eyes and shaking his head furiously. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. It couldn't. His brothers were alive. They had to be.

Splinter watched as his eldest began hyperventilating again and was soon coughing and hacking so much he was not able to breathe. His other sons finished helped up Michelangelo, who had apparently tripped on one of his actions figures he had left lying about, and rushed over as well. He had shouted for them to come as soon as Leonardo hadn't responded, needing an explanation for his behaviour.

"Leonardo, my son you must calm down," He tried to reason with his eldest, but the blue banded turtle only shook his head more. He reached out a paw, but was shoved away as Leonardo continued to attempt to get away. Something was very wrong. His eldest was not responding to what he was saying. More likely he was hearing something else. His others sons confirmed that Leonardo had been misinterpreting what they had been saying also.

"My son you must control your breathing," He took ahold of the blue banded turtle and brought up into his lap once more. He struggled to keep the squirming turtle still as he fought with all his might to get away.

"Get his inhaler quickly," He ordered calmly, managing to get a firm grip. Whether his son was writhing in pain or fright he was not sure, but it did not matter.

Donatello tried to give the small blue inhaler to his brother, but he batted it away. Raphael picked it up quickly, passing it to the rat.

"I am sorry my son," Splinter said before pushing a pressure point in the eldest's neck. It had the desire affect and the turtle stopped moving and seized up, if only momentarily. It was enough however for Splinter to forcibly give the medication in the inhaler and the hacking quietened down to small infrequent coughs.

Leo kept his eyes firmly shut, his body trembling with both fright and exhaustion, and tried to take comfort in the soothing circle being stroked on his shell. It took longer than anyone thought, but the eldest eventually calmed, leaning on his father for support.

"My son what is wrong?" Splinter asked tentatively, never ceasing his comforting motions. Minutes passed in silence, everyone waiting patiently for Leo to speak.

"You were disappointed," He said meekly, his voice strained physically and emotionally.

"In you?" He felt a nod from the head buried in his fur, "Why would you think that?"

Leo pushed away from his father, perhaps a little more violently than necessary, "You said it!" He croaked.

Splinter was taken aback at the outburst, but the tears spilling out from sapphire eyes meant the younger was more frightened than angry, "I said nothing of the sort my son," He replied firmly, gently pulling him closer once more.

"But..."

"Why would I be disappointed in you?"

"I failed, I couldn't protect my brothers!" Splinter's heart clenched at how distraught his eldest sounded. More tears spilled and soaked his fur.

"Look around my son, your brothers are alive and well," He watched Leonardo look disbelievingly up at him before whirling around to see his brothers with not so much as a scratch on them.

"You're okay?" He asked quietly, his hand reaching out Mikey who was the closest.

The orange banded turtle took his hand in his own and squeezed tightly, "'Course we're okay bro," Leo wilted at the last word. Didn't they disown him?

"Leo?" Raph questioned, shifting closer to take his other hand.

"You, you said I wasn't your brother," Fresh tears started forming at the hurt he had felt when the youngest had said that.

Donnie shifted forward too, wiping away the tears that had fallen, "We'd never say that,"

"C'mon bro you know we love you," Mikey said softly, nuzzling his head under Leo's chin.

"I don't understand, I heard..."

"It was just a nightmare," Raph tried to reassure him, but Leo shook his head.

"No I was awake, I remember falling out the bed and you guys were covered in blood and then you weren't and and..."

"Deep breath my son," Splinter said, Leonardo leaning back against his chest. Another coughing fit racked his body and left the turtle wheezing and rubbing his sore throat.

"Maybe you were hallucinating," Donnie theorised, thinking back to the events yesterday, "How many times were you sprayed by those mushrooms?"

"I'm not sure, but I'd say at least ten times,"

"Hmm, I have a theory, come into my lab,"

Leo tried to stand, but found his body still drained and nearly fell if Splinter had not caught him again. He desperately tried to stop his legs from shaking and for once he just wanted to curl up and sleep. He heard his father whisper in Japanese and was more than happy to be wrapped in secure arms.

"Can you walk?" Splinter asked quietly. Leo nodded, taking a deep breath before slowly making his way to the lab. Splinter followed closely behind, subtly pushing against his son's shell when he teetered backwards. The turtle gave a small smile in thanks, grateful that his pride hadn't taken too much of a dent.

Donnie patted on the bed in his lab, giving a reassuring smile to the nervous turtle, "I'm just gonna run a few tests," Leo nodded and let him do his thing.

The scientist found the elder's throat was very red and raw from all the coughing, which was not that surprising, but it was what he found traces of that was interesting.

"Hmm, it seems that there are minute particles attached to the lining of your throat, which explains why it appears your asthma is acting up. They've been causing irritation which is making you cough and also making your throat swell and cut off your airway, hence not being able to breathe properly,"

Everyone was silent as what Donnie said sunk in, "Does that mean we have mushroom spray in our throats too?" Raph asked.

"We might have done, but I would guess that as we breathed normally, the oxygen would have filtered through and the particles dissipated," Donnie said, "My guess is also that the amount of particles stuck to the throat lining is nothing compared to what is in your lungs,"

Leo unconsciously placed a hand on his plastron, over his chest, "How do we fix it?"

Donnie paced as he talked, cupping his chin with his hand, "Well I could treat this like smoke inhalation, which has similar symptoms to what you're experiencing, so I guess putting you on supplementary oxygen could work,"

Splinter nodded, "Do what you have to my son,"

Donnie set about gathering what he needed; some oxygen cylinders and the mask to administer it. Leo brought his legs up onto the bed and watched Donnie attach the tube on the mask to the cylinder.

"Okay Leo, I'm just going to slip this over your beak," Don drew the string back and brought it over Leo's head, making sure it was tight enough to stay on, but not hurt.

Leo didn't like the feeling of the mask, but knew he had no choice. He saw Don fiddle with the cylinder for a moment before he turned back to him.

"Better?" He didn't feel that different, but he supposed that was because he was used to breathing oxygen. It did feel easier to breathe though so he nodded.

Don smiled, gently directing Leo to lie down, "I'll check the particle levels every so often to make sure it's working, but in the meantime you just take it easy," Leo smiled too, closing his eyes and trying to relax.

Splinter, after gently squeezing Leo's shoulder, left to go and meditate, Donnie started running some more tests on the samples he had taken from Leo's throat to see if there was anything else they needed to worry about, and Raph and Mikey, under Donnie's instruction, also left to leave Leo to rest.

It took a few hours, but after a few more samples Donnie determined that the particle count had gone down sufficiently enough to take the blue banded turtle off the supplementary oxygen.

As soon as he left the lab though, Leo was swamped by his brothers and father, all asking if he was okay. He reassured them he felt better, but they still fussed, pulling him sit on the sofa despite only just gotten up from lying down in the lab.

"Guys really I'm fine," He said. He wasn't sure when April and Casey had come back down, but they too crowded him.

"You had us worried man," Casey said, giving his shoulder a light punch. Leo smiled at the show of affection, returning it with enough vigour that the teen had to rub his shoulder.

Mikey immediately distracted everyone from Leo by babbling on about Super Robo Mecha Force 5 and the episode they had been watching while Leo was in the lab. Leo was glad of the distraction. He didn't like being the centre of attention. He listened as Mikey started to explain what had happened in the episode, only to be rudely interrupted by a smack up the head by Raph who said that it was better if Leo actually watched the episode instead. So Mikey grabbed the tape and slotted it in.

Though he tried his best, Leo found that his attention kept slipping from the show. It wasn't hard when Donnie and the human teens were so blatantly discussing his 'illness' directly in front of him. Donnie was doing his best at being discreet, and he would have succeeded if Leo couldn't see April and Casey looking over at him. And what Casey might consider a whisper wasn't very effective to his trained ears.

"He'll be fine," He heard Donnie reassure them.

"I never imagined Leo would be asthmatic," April commented, concern in her eyes as she briefly glanced over at the blue banded turtle.

"It hasn't acted up in years," Don replied. Leo could tell he was trying to redirect the conversation by giving concise answers.

"You think those mushrooms made it come back?" Casey asked. Leo saw Don stifle a huff of annoyance at the pestering.

"Perhaps, but I think this is more of a one-off occurrence. The mushroom spores were more akin to smoke inhalation than anything else,"

The teens nodded and the conversation ceased for now. Leo tried to focus once again back on the TV in front of him. However, he felt the warmth drain from his body once again when he heard someone say he was weak. It might have been a whisper, but he was certain this time it wasn't a hallucination; he'd been able to read lips for years. His gaze spun around to Don, who was giving a stern look to one of the human teens, although he wasn't sure which, and knew it was indeed true.

Tears started forming in sapphire eyes, but he was determined not to be seen crying, that would only confirm that he was indeed weak and not fit to be a leader. Getting up from the sofa, it took everything he had not to sprint to his room, but his lack of a response to Raph's questioning most likely would have tipped them off that something was wrong. He practically slammed the door and flung himself on his bed, burying his now tear-stained face in the pillow.

He heard noises on the other side, but didn't want to discern what they were saying. There were a couple of knocks on his door, all three of his brothers trying to get him to talk. Feeling foolish, the blue banded turtle sat up and propped himself against the wall, knees drawn to his chest, wiped his eyes and took a breath. The shuffling outside the door got quieter as he assumed his brothers left him to it.

However, Leo mentally cursed his assumption when he looked up to see not only his brothers in the doorway, but his father as well. Not able to face his family, he buried his head in his arms resting atop his knees, barely stifling a sob in time. A hand on his shoulder made him flinch, but he refused to move.

"Leo look at me," Raph prompted watching as his older brother slowly complied. He squeezed the elder's shoulder when their eyes met, "You listen to me Leo, you are not weak,"

Leo scoffed and tried to turn away, but Raph grabbed his opposite shoulder and turned him, "Whatever you heard in your nightmares and those stupid hallucinations, it isn't true. You're the strongest and most caring big brother ever," The blue banded brother gave a small smile at that: it wasn't often that his hot tempered sibling was this praising.

"Heck, you'd rather die than see anything happen to us, and you really think you're bad leader you dork," Raph playfully pushed the elder, revelling in the chuckle he earned.

"Yeah bro, your always there for us, how many times have you been there to comfort one of us after a nightmare?" Mikey added, leaning at the foot of the bed beside Don, "Besides, whose the one who puts up with me when I'm being me,"

"You mean when you're childish?" Donnie dug, smirking at his younger. Mikey did nothing to counter this by sticking his tongue out at the inventor.

"But they are right Leo, and you know how weird it is to say that Raph and Mikey are right," The red and orange banded turtles protested loudly at that remark, "I can always come to you to talk about anything, even, ahem, April," A slight blush crossed the inventor's face at the mention of his crush and he glared at the snigger from his younger.

Splinter, who had been silently watching his eldest son and listening to the words of comfort expressed from the doorway, made his way to the bed and sat down on the opposite side to his red banded son. He gently rubbed the younger's head and used a finger to tilt the turtle's head to look at him when he tried to shy away. The rat watched as Leo tried to wipe away stray tears before returning eye contact.

"My son tears are not a sign of weakness, do not be ashamed," He said, "You have blossomed into a capable and skilled leader Leonardo, and I am very proud of you,"

Everyone cheered internally at the smile that formed, happy they were finally able to convince their nightmare riddled relative of the truth. Raph slung an arm over Leo's shoulder, squeezing it in a sign of solidarity and comfort. The elder buried his head in the younger's shoulder, just wanting a moment to compose himself and repeat to himself what his family had said. They loved him and knew he wasn't weak. He was a good leader and an even better brother. Now all was needed was to keep reminding himself.

Raph rubbed the elder's shell, giving it a pat when the blue banded brother took a deep breath and pulled away. Giving his eyes a wipe, he finally held his head high, drawing support from those he loved.

It was then he realised how tired he was. After still not getting more than a trivial amount of sleep, the blue banded turtle had yet to recharge his body, and the asthmatic attacks and hallucinations had done nothing to help. A yawn escaped his lips before he could stop it and his family smiled knowingly.

"It is time to rest my son," Leo nodded groggily, already scooting away from Raph to lie down in his bed. The red banded brother drew the blankets up to the elder's shoulders and withdrew to join their brothers at the foot of the bed. Splinter gently stroked his son's head and gave the top a kiss before joining his other sons as they walked out the door.

"Oyasumi Leonardo,"

"Oyasumi no chichi," Leo managed to call before sleep claimed him. Splinter smiled and walked towards the dojo, leaving the door open ajar in case he was needed.

But he wasn't. After falling asleep with the comfort of his family still fresh in his mind, and his body clear of all the toxins, the blue banded brother slept soundly, not a single nightmare crossing his subconscious that night.

* * *

 **Hopefully that was alright and enjoyable to read :) I got told fluffy and I brought fluffy :D Brotherly and fatherly! It's aways refreshing to explore Leo's more vulnerable side, since we all know he has one, but doesn't like to show it. I really do think he would get** _ **that**_ **upset if something happened to his brothers, particularly if he believed it was his fault. Also what I wrote that the brothers said were not actually what they said, only warped versions. So they are similar in a way, but mostly taken out of context, but then again that is what drugs halluncinations will do to you!**

 **I know I do a lot of these types of stories (fluffy I mean) but as long as you guys aren't complaining and I enjoy writing them I don't see the harm :) I may branch out if an idea takes my fancy, but I like this, genre if you will, the most :)**

 **I did a lot of research into this about things like smoke inhalation (which by the way if you are suffering from really need to go to the hospital!) and asthma and fingers crossed it made sense throughout. I saw the idea for Leo having Asthma on a picture in his Gallery on Turtlepedia, but once I saw the prompt I couldn't resist sneaking it in because I thought it made an interesting add-on. There was a couple of other pictures on there that I wouldn't mind turning into stories, but considering the slow process of this one (I started writing it in the summer before uni!), I don't expect to get many out quickly :(**

 **I also wanted to make a point of Splinter saying that tears are not a weakness, because they really aren't.**

 **Japanese Translations (per Google Chrome)**

 _ **Oyasumi - goodnight**_

 _ **Oyasumi no chichi - goodnight father**_


End file.
